To the moon and back
by Shayleytrash
Summary: Ashley suffers from depression. The kind of depression that takes forever to cure. The only good thing that happened in her life was Shay, her bff. Ashley is very much in love with shay but she's scared of rejection. But she doesn't know the fact that Shay has always loved her as more than a friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

 **(Ashley's POV)**

"I should stop doing this to myself" I said as I reached for my razor inside my handbag. I don't even know why I keep on hurting myself. I somehow know this what I deserve. I'm not good enough to anything or anyone. Cutting myself has become a routine for me. Whenever I feel alone or depressed , I turn to the blades for help.

"This is for your fat ass thighs" I said out of frustration and pain as the blood slowly seep out of the freshly cut spot.

I sat down on the bathroom floor, I can't help but cry. I know this is very wrong but what could I possibly do when its so easy to cut?

Tears welled up in my eyes seeing the blood coming out from the new cut.

I shook my head and ran warm water in the cut so the blood would stop oozing out. I then woke up and hid the blades in the secret cabinet so no one would notice this when they search for something. I applied some concealer in the fresh cut in order to hide it. I had to go for a photo shoot with the girls so I turned the faucet back on and splashed cold water on my face in attempt to cheer myself up.

I dressed up and made sure that the cut is hidden. I grabbed my phone and water bottle and I headed to my car. Usually izak will pick me up but today he's having some other job so it's just me. I opened snapchat , you could say I'm addicted to it. I wanted the fans to know what's happening in my life so I will always update every thing through snapchat (not the depression part obv.) I was running late so I quickly drove off to the warner bros.

The drive was nice and short. I reached the venue and they had given me the ID card through which I can go inside the lot. I showed the ID car to the officer there and he let me in.

I took my phone and there was a text message from Shay. Even though she's like my bestfriend and I got used to this , I always get this little sensation in my stomach whenever I see her name in my notification. So I opened the message, It said

 **Shay : Where are you babe? Waiting for you..**

It made me smile instantly and I replied " **I'm in, Shan. I'll be with you in five mins. "**

I parked my car in the parking lot and called lisa to pick me up.

"Hey Benzo" Shay was coming towards me and gave me a welcome hug.

"Hey Shan Shan" I greeted back hugging her.

My mood was instantly lifted, "God the effect this girl has on me" I sighed to myself.

The photoshoot went great. We both snapchatted a lot together and the fans went crazy. Only me, shay and troian were there for the shoot this time because you know there's this thing called photoshop and they'll merge our pics alongside lucy and sasha.

Sammy couldn't make it so I offered shay a lift to home and she immediately said yes.

I was feeling good at that moment but I had this lingering pain on my cut. It took me back to my depressed self and I remained silent for some time. Shay obviously noticed.

"Benzo, is everything fine?"

"Absolutely shan, I..I'm a little tired, that's all" I shook my head and said.

"No ash, youre not! Something's up with you. It's me ash, you know you can tell anything to me"

"its nothing shay, stop worrying about me" I snapped at her , I didn't know why I did that.

Shay sighed and she didn't say anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2:**

 **(Shay's POV)**

 **ASHLEY SNAPPED AT ME! SHE FREAKING SNAPPED AT ME** I'm not even mad about it. I was genuinely shocked. I couldn't believe that, because she has never behaved like this before. Even though I know she's a bit moody at times and says things before even thinking It could be taken in a wrong way. I know she has anxiety and she's fighting it. I don't wanna see her struggling alone. I wanted to help.

"Shan.. I'm sorry" she said as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I didn't even know why I was behaving like that, you mean a lot to me and I couldn't believe I yelled at you. I feel terrible shan. I'm so sorry"

"woah ,easy babe. I understand. You must be in a cranky mood and you might have found that annoying. Its okay, and don't ever apologize. Come on, smile for me"

She then had the biggest smile ever on her face. She was definitely trying to hide her blush but it wasn't working at all. What a beautiful site it was. "If only she knew how gorgeous she was" I thought to myself.

As Ashley was driving I didn't wanted to disturb her so I stayed silent.

"Shan shan"

"Why are you so quiet? Are you still mad at me? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you" She said as she hold my hand.

I didn't know why but her touch made me feel things. I was so nervous.

Out of the blue she said " _I love you, Shannon. I never wanna lose you, don't leave me ever"_

That gave me heart palpitations, even though I know she said I love you in the friendliest way possible, it didn't stop me from blushing.

"I love you too, ash. I've never met someone who's so beautiful both inside and out. You do realize what a treasure you're?"

"hahah stop it you" she smiled. And I was so glad that I could make her smile.

To my surprise, she leaned sidewards and kissed me on my cheek. It was so unexpected so I had like zero expressions on my face. Even though my heart was racing and I gave her a sweet smile without saying a word.

The rest of the ride was calming. Ash and I jammed to some songs on radio. After some minutes, we've arrived to my home.

"Bye babe and don't forget, sleepover at mine tomorrow" I said hugging her.

"I wouldn't forget shan, love you. Good night"

"Good night ash. And remember, I will always be here for you"

"I know" she said and smiled at me.

"Bye babe" she waved and drove off.

I know I'm falling for her and I honestly couldn't help it. She probably wouldn't even feel the same way but loving her made me so happy. It made me the happiest, who am I kidding. She's my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. No one knows about this except Sammy, I mean who can keep a secret fro her anyways? Ha.

I went in my house and Sammy was there sitting on the couch watching tv.

"What the hell Sammy? I thought you were busy but you were _busy_ watching tv? I can't belie…" She cut me off half way and said

"woah woah woah, don't get mad. Who gave you the lift to home?" she said winking.

That made me smile but I cant show that to her, she will make fun of me so I played safe.

"Keegan drove me here" I lied.

"Stop lying you little shit, I saw ashley's car here just some moments back"

"okay sorry, I was playing safe. Yes, ash gave me the lift. So you wanted this to happen and that's why you didn't show up today?" I cant help but smile.

"yeah totally. Look at that smile" there she goes again.

"I don't know Sam, I don't think ash is happy with her life. I want to find what's wrong with her, so I've invited her for sleep over tomorrow"

"That's good, Shannon. And don't worry, she'll be fine."

"Hopefully" I sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note : Thanks guys for the support! Truly appreciate it. x**

 **(Ashley's POV)**

So, shay had invited me for the sleep over at her place. Usually I won't decline any opportunity that would let me spend time with shay. This time she invited me for a sleep over which would give me the chance to confess my love for her but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready because if I spend that much time with her alone she would easily figure me out. And I didn't want that to happen. But my love for shay over shaded my fear so I said yes to her.

I have to get ready as my call time is 7 am and its already getting late.

I opened snapchat and posted a snap with the time on it.

Seconds later, I got a facetime request from shan and it made me smile from cheek to cheek.

"GOOD MORNING ASHLEY BENSON" She literally screamed.

"You seriously scared the shit out of me, bitch. How are you so full of energy early in the morning? Oh I forgot, you're a power house" I said, laughing.

"No no, you know I'm not a morning person at all. I'm excited because someone is coming for a sleep over tonight!"

" _God why is she so cute_ " I thought to myself.

"ohh, I bet that someone is way too excited to be there as well" I said winking. Even though I was scared.

She kissed me virtually and said "cya soon benzo, don't be late to the set."

"Bye bye shan, I'll be there in 30 minutes"

I lost my appetite weeks ago, I don't even know what's keeping me alive anymore. I keep skipping my meals. I'm too conscious of my weight. That's the main thing I'm worried about. Because when I'm at shay's place, she would definitely force me to eat something. How can I tell this to her? Just the thought of it made me anxious. I decided to worry about this later so I could concentrate on my driving.

I reached the spot and the officer in the check post let me in.

Romy picked me up and dropped me in the hair and make up trailer.

I went inside. Shay and lucy were in there. They both greeted me as I went in but yeah, my eyes just focused on my angel, Shay. I just stared at her without saying a word. Shay waved her hand before my eyes in attempt to make me come back to my senses and it worked. I greeted them back. I was pretty embarrassed, I mean who wouldn't be?

"Day dreaming already?" Shay teased me.

"Okay, stop it. I'm already embarrassed" I said controlling my laughter.

" **ASHLEY GET READY SOON** " Lisa practically yelled at me.

"Yeah yeah, right away, Li"

Rest of the day went great. We had lots of fun as it was a group scene and we were snooping around the city to find some clues. I have always loved my work. Mainly because I get to work with shay and I loved the people who I work with. If I'm alive today, its only because of them. If not for them, people would have found my lifeless body in my bathroom ages ago.

I went to Shay's room. She was in there thankfully. She smiled at me and asked me to come sit by her side. She's the only ray of happiness in my life and I'm so lucky to have someone who's so supportive and loving.

We tried out different filters on snapchat. That was so much fun, shay and I had a great laugh. _How much I love this girl._

We had a last scene for the day to film so shay and I was preparing for it.

And it was a wrap for us.

"Ash, I didn't ask Sammy to come pick me up since we are going home together"

"Yay that's awesome shan! You know, I was thinking to ask the same"

She smiled at me.

"Get in, shay" I said opening the door.

"haha, thanks babe" She said laughing.

The ride was short and smooth.


	4. Chapter 4

**(Shay's POV)**

We are finally home.

"So come on in" I said welcoming Ashley.

As soon as I went in, angel came out of no where and she was practically on top of me knocking me down and started licking all over my face.

"Pretty hyper dog ugh?" Ashley asked in the middle of her laughs.

"yeah, this is how she welcomes me when there's no Sammy in the house" I said.

"oh, Sammy isn't here?" she asked.

"um nope, she has a date today so she couldn't be here with us"

I lied. She doesn't have a date tonight. I asked her to not be here today so me and ash can have this place to ourselves.

"so its just two of us today" she said smiling.

"and angel" I added.

"obviously ma'am" she was laughing.

"You're beautiful" I blurted out. She didn't expect that so she just smiled at me.

I kinda know that she's unhappy and I loved the fact that I could make her happy.

We sat down on my bed and watched tv for a while. Angel was on the floor sleeping. Whenever we are together we will snapchat a lot. That has become like a tradition. So we snapped a lot.

 **(Ashley's POV)**

I was having a great time with shay. Her dog was the cutest thing ever and I played with angel for a while.

We were all alone and that made me nervous. She told me that I was beautiful and that made me smile uncontrollably. She's the sweetest person I've ever met. She was in the kitchen preparing dinner for us. I went to the kitchen and I hugged her from behind resting my chin on her shoulder. She was obviously shocked.

"Oh my goodness, Ashley. I nearly had a heart attack" she said laughing.

I kept on hugging her. It felt so good.

"Just wanted to surprise you" I said smiling.

"And you did surprise me"

I then loosened the grip so I could see her face to face.

"Shay?"

"Yea, benzo? "

We both were staring at each other and we got lost in each other's eyes in seconds.

I couldn't look her in the eyes for a longer time as I know I would end up kissing her so I broke the eye contact and asked

"What are you preparing shan?"

"I… I'm preparing a home made pizza for us" she said after struggling so long for words.

I could say we really did have a moment there.

I then went back to the living room and sat on the couch. I grabbed my phone and posted a sneaky snap of shay cooking without telling her.

" **The pizza is reaaaadddyyy"** She started to scream and I couldn't stop laughing. That was so adorable.

And the moment is here, the moment I was scared of. The moment I wish never came. But its here. I didn't wanna see her sad so I decided to eat a slice or two.

"come here, ash" She said inviting me the dining table.

"Coming babe"

The setting was so romantic. Itw as not any less than a candle lit dinner. I loved this.

"Here, take it" she handed me the pizza.

I took a slice and started to eat it.

To my surprise, I could actually eat it and I was so happy because of that.

"It tastes heavenly, shan. Such a good cook I should say"

"Not as good as you, but I will take it as a compliment" she winked at me.

"It was a compliment, you dumbo" and we both laughed.

We then talked for hours and fell asleep without knowing.


	5. Chapter 5

**(Shay's POV)**

It was a nice Friday morning. Last night was perfect without a doubt. Even though I wanted to make a move, I didn't. I could see the old ash coming back and I was happy.

I woke up early and she was still sleeping. She was so cute so I didn't want to disturb her.

I quickly grabbed my phone and took a pic of Ashley sleeping. I thought to post in on twitter.

I posted the picture with the caption

" **Little sunshine is still asleep *with a heart eyes emoji and a heart emoji* "**

The tweet got sent.

After some moments, my mentions were literally filled with tweets like

"oh my god babies"

"queens"

"Look how cute"

"My ButtahBenzo heart"

And that one tweet got my attention, which was

" _Please get married to each other"_

It instantly made me blush.

I then replied to some tweets and went offline.

We had to go to work so I woke up Ashley by slowly caressing her cheeks.

It was so hard for me to wake her up but after many struggles I finally succeeded.

"Whaat?" she said in her sleepy raspy voice. It was so hot, I should say.

"babe, wake up, we have to be there in 30 minutes"

"what? Omg in just 30 mins? Why didn't you wake me up ugh" she whined like a little baby.

"Its okay, now go get ready"

"Yeah, I should"

We got ready and we were in separate cars this time.

Sammy had called earlier but I didn't answer so I thought of calling her back.

"Hey there Sammy, why did you call?"

"Look who finally had time to answer me back" she teased.

"I know, I'm sorry. We woke up a bit late so had to hurry to work"

"you guys woke up late? Were yall up all night?" I could sense her excitement through her voice.

"Yeah, we watched a movie"

"Just a movie? Come on Shannon"

"Oh my gosh, stop. We just watched a movie. I thought of confessing my feelings for her but I couldn't"

"well, I'm a little disappointed hearing that. Tell me, how's Ashley? Did you find anything? Is she alright?"

"Yeah, we had dinner together last night and she ate well. I can feel old ash is making a come back"

"that's amazing. Great job, Shannon. "

"Okay Sam, gotta go. Cya in the evening"

"Bye bye , Buttah" and I hung up.


	6. Chapter 6

**(Ashley's POV)**

Me and shan have arrived to the set at the same time. I started to snap as she walked towards me. I love her, she has become my only happiness and I can't afford to lose her. What if I told her that I love her as more than a friend? What would she do? These thoughts literally gave me headaches so I shrugged it off with a loud sigh.

"So youre wrapped already?" I asked her.

"Yeah, but see who's staying with you"

"For me? Stop kidding, you might have some work. You're definitely not staying for me" I teased her. Because I wanted to hear her say that she stayed just for me.

"Don't try me, Ashley Benson" Oh boy, I know she's serious when she calls me by my full name.

"I was kidding" I started to laugh.

I could see shay staring at me with a sweet smile and that made me weak.

"I'm hungry, let's get something to eat" I said.

"Yeah, me too" she said standing up from the couch.

The rest of the day went great. Shay wrapped earlier but she waited for me so she could hang out with me. That was sweet. These small gestures really do mean a lot.

The ride back home was calming and I was so happy. Yeah, I was happy because of shay. If only she knows how happy she makes me.

I parked my car and went into my house.

I haven't checked twitter in a long time so I opened the app and checked my mentions.

People were replying and rting shay's tweet so I tapped on Shay's tweet to see what it was.

It was a picture of me sleeping like a little baby in shay's bed. Shay didn't even tell me that she had posted this. The caption was adorable and I couldn't stop smiling.

Oh silly shan shan, taking picture of everything. I thought to myself.

70% of the replies were like very positive but the 30% were very unpleasant to even look at. The comments were like

"Wow, she really needs all the make up"

"ugly"

"She's uglier up close"

"She's too normal looking for an actress"

"I don't know why she's famous"

Even though I know I didn't look that bad, I was hurt. I genuinely can't handle all these. This was too much. Tears started to fell off my eyes like a waterfall. I couldn't control that either. I dropped my phone and fell to my knees. I had never felt so worthless and I've definitely never felt this ugly ever in my entire life.

"Why do you all hate me" I literally on the top of my lungs. I didn't care if I was being too loud. I just had to let this all out.

I still couldn't control sobbing. Tears continued to stream down causing my mascara to run everywhere. I was a complete mess. I laid back on the floor and cried for what felt like hours.

After sometime, no tears came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can't feel any worse. I think you know it, I think everyone knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often _, too often._

The people I love will never know how much they mean to me,. I'm so painfully fragile. If it wasn't for how much I meant to them, I would've left this planet years ago. The only thing that's stopping me from cutting too deep or putting a rope around my neck, is them. I see their faces, tears dominating them, and I see their lives slowly breaking down bit by bit, piece by piece, and emotion by emotion. And I know that I would be the one who caused it all.

But I have been so strong for all these years and I have to do something to make it all stop.

So I approached the secret cabinet and took out my blades. I placed the blade on my wrist and pushed it with a force. It cut though the delicate skin. I began crying again, feeling ashamed of myself. I wasn't satisfied so I started t randomly cut my thighs. Blood rushed out of every cut. I lost track of how long I've been cutting. I suddenly felt dizzy so I woke up and decided to take a hot shower to make the blood stop. It hit me that I was in a grave danger. The cuts wont stop bleeding.

Another gaze of dizziness hit me so I just decided to sit down on the bathroom floor. I didn't know what to do. Suddenly I heard my phone ring. I slowly approached it but it was too far away. It was from Shay. I decided to try harder but I instantly passed out.


	7. Chapter 7

**(Shay's POV)**

Sammy just told me that I got an offer to be in this very prestigious movie called "Mother's day". I couldn't believe it. I auditioned for the role ages ago so I was genuinely shocked. Happy kinda shock. I was so happy because I get to work with Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson and Julia Roberts. So I decided to tell this to my parents and Ashley. I called my parents and they were indeed very happy. So I decided to call ash next.

I scrolled down my contact list and pressed ashley's number. The phone rang for a while and there was no answer. It was vey weird. Because it's just 8 pm, she can't be asleep already and Ashley doesn't put her phone on silent usually . After a while the phone beeped and requested me to record my message for her after the beep. I sighed and cut the call without recording because I wanted to hear her excitement when I tell her this. I decided to call after some minutes.

I called her after some 10 minutes and still there was no answer. I dialed ash's home number and still no response at all. I started to panic. There was this weird feeling that kept nagging me in the back of my mind. My instincts told me to go to her home and check up on her. And that's exactly what I decided to do. Ashley's place was just two streets away so it took me less than 5 minutes to reach there.

As soon as I got there, I parked my car and decided to knock her door. I was nervous and I was literally praying that she should be alright. So I knocked the door. I waited for a while but there was just silence.

I stood there and knocked for like two minutes and still no answer. What the fuck?

I nervously searched for the spare key to her home in my bag. I have her spare me and she has one to mine as well. I kinda figured this was an emergency because she would always answer her phone or shw would have opened the door. She did neither now so I used the key to get in.

It was so dark inside so I turned my phone's flashlight on to search for the switches. I found it and I switched on all the lights.

" **Ash?"** I called out into the quiet room.

I waited silently for the answer but instead I heard a soft noise of the shower running in her bathroom. I assumed she was showering but who the hell would shower for 2 hours?

"Hey ash, you alright? I was kinda worried cause you didn't answer my calls so I decided to check up on you. I will be right here babe" I said as I sat on her bed.

I looked at the door waiting for an answer but I got nothing in return.

"Ash you're scaring me honestly" I turned the knob and pushed the door to open it.

"Ash, its shay" I said making my way to the shower.

I glanced over the sink and there lied several blade with blood stained on it. I came into realization of what she might have done and I ran over to the shower.

My mouth dropped and my heart stopped.

There laid my best friend, unconsciously curled up into a ball, covered in blood. Her face had mascara all over and she looked paler than usual.

"ASHLEY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" I screamed, falling to the ground next to her.

I didn't care if I was getting soaked and I didn't care that she was completely naked. All I wanted was her to wake up and the cuts to stop bleeding.

"Omg ash, please wake up"

I checked for her pulse and I could hear her faint heartbeat. What if her pulse stop any minute? How long has she been like this? I couldn't control my tears.'

I got up quickly and turned the shower off. I went out and grabbed my phone called for help. After explaining the situation, the man who answered the phone asked me to wait calmly until the rescue squad come here. I thanked him and hung up.

I lied back on the floor next to Ashley ,hugging her as I wept. My eyes wandered across her arms and legs. Blood was still oozing out from the cuts. I could find the old cuts and all I could think was, how did I ever not notice this? How could she do this to herself? Why did this have to happen?

A few minutes later, I heard sirens outside the building. I got up and secured the bathrobe. I put it on her because I didn't want complete strangers to see her naked. I heard the knocks on the door so I kissed ash on her cheeks before I answer the front door.

I rushed to the front door and opened it. There were two men and two women. I watched as they slowly transferred Ashley to the stretcher and took her to the ambulance. A man started to ask me questions.

"So, are you a relative of Ms. Benson?"

"NO.. I'm her bestfriend"

"Ohh, we were informed that this is a self harm incident. Is that true"?

"y..yes." I stuttered.

And that is when reality hit me. Ash actually felt bad enough to hurt herself. She has such a perfect life and she is so beautiful , its quite a shock to me to know that she has been cutting all these days. Did she ever thought to kill herself?My heart sunk deeper than ever. I felt horrible for not noticing anything before then.

I completely lost it and broke down again. I stood in front of her and cried having my hands on my face. I could feel someone comforting me but it didn't stop me from crying.

He cleared his throat and said "well, it looks like Ms. Benson is ready to be transported to the hospital. Are you coming with her?"

I instantly said yes.

We were inside the ambulance. I was still crying. They were doing some emergency measures to stop the bleeding but she has lost a lot of blood. They said the chance of survival is very slim but I had called them at the right time. That someone gave me hope.

At that moment I would have done anything to make ash wake up and to see her beautiful smile again. I prayed silently that Ashley should make it.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Please don't mind my typos. Lol.**

I was seated in the waiting room near the emergency ward of the hospital. I informed this about ashley's parents. I texted troian and lucy and I got immediate worried responses, they said they would be there very soon. I really can't be alone right now so I want them to already be here. I looked at the time and it was 10 pm. I was really tired so I leaned back and dozed off instantly.

After sometime I felt someone gently trying to wake me up. I opened my eyes and it was troi and lucy. I felt tears form in my eyes as I looked at them.

"Are you alright shay?" troian asked me.

"yea.. yeah I'm fine" I said.

"What happened to Ashley?"

"Um I guess she tried to kill herself. When I went to her home she laid there in her bathroom unconsciously and her whole body was covered in blood" I said wiping my tears.

"omg I couldn't even picture it. How is she?"

"well, I'm not sure how she's doing. But a nurse told me that we should go talk to one of the doctors regarding Ashley. I waited for you both to come"

"Okay then, lets go" Lucy said as she guided us to the stairs.

We entered in and there was a middle aged woman inside.

"So you girls must be here to know about how Ms. Benson is doing?" She asked us in a soft voice.

"Yes, we are her friends. We would like to know how Ashley is recovering" troian spoke up to the doctor.

"Will she ever wake up?" I blurted out without even knowing what I was asking.

The doctor took a deep breathe and said

"I will be honest with you. I don't want to give you false hopes. We are not quite sure that Ms. Benson will make it or not. When she cut her wrists she had cut it way too deep. One of the important veins got damaged severely and she has lost a lot of blood. If she survived this night we will have a chance. We are doing everything to keep her alive."

My mouth dropped open. I had heard her words but I couldn't process the information in my head. I couldn't believe what she just said.

I quickly got up and walked out of the room. I have to go somewhere. I headed to the elevators. Tears began to sting my eyes but I controlled them. I decided not to cry just yet.

"SHAY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" I heard troian's voice but I ignored her. I got into the empty elevator.

The last thing I heard troian say was"Shay please, don't leave. You can talk to us."

I felt bad for ignoring troian but I couldn't care less. I have to get out of that place immediately and so I walked out of the hospital. I started to walk faster. I didn't know whre I was going but it didn't matter. It was dark and cold.

I pulled out my earbuds and plugged in to my phone and started to blast some songs. I didn't care how high the volume was. All I wanted was to escape from this sorrow. But at one point I couldn't listen to any songs. I got frustrated and aggressively pulled out my earbuds. I tried to forget about everything but nothing was helping. The tears which I held back, finally spilled out. There was no one else around so I wept loudly. I was in so much emotional pain. How did I ever let this happen. I couldn't forgive myself as I wept even harder.

I suddenly heard a familiar voice calling out for me. I quickly recognized it was troian.

"Shay baby, are you alright?"

I shook my head and said "No"

She had a worried face and she pulled me in for a hug. She held me and stroked my hair. It was only making me cry even more.

"It was all my fault" I cried into her shoulder. "I should have done something when she started acting down al the time. I shrugged it off like it was nothing" I was now sobbing harder than ever. "I feel horrible for not noticing her scars. She was going though such a dark phase and how did I ever let her deal with it alone? My best friend might die and it's all my fault" I struggled to speak. "And what really pains me is that she felt bad enough that she wanted to kill herself at one point."

"shhh baby" troi tried to console me. "This isn't you fault at all. No one ever saw this coming. Stop beating yourself up shay"

I cried for several minutes. I even heard troian cry a little at one point. We just sat there in silence.

I finally calmed down a bit. My heartbroken sobs has now become occasional whimpers. I looked up at teary-eyed troian and said "What if she didn't make it? I'm so scared, troi" I rested my head on her shoulder.

She stroked my hair softly before speaking "well all we can do now is pray that she makes it and finds strength to wake up. I know that girl. She's a fighter. I'm almost certain that she'll wake up"

Her calm words gave me a little hope.

"Okay" was all I could say.

"We should go check up on luce. She's inside the hospital. It's getting late" she said to me.

"let's get going then, troi"

As we walked I wiped away the mascara that had run down to my cheek. She noticed and helped wipe it away. She let out a tiny giggle when she finished and I smiled at her, grateful to have her as my friend.

We found lucy sleeping on one of the couches. I smiled a bit and gently shook her shoulders to wake her up. When we finally got luce off the couch she said to me "I know this whole thing is really hard for you, but just know that we are always here if you needed someone to talk to"

"Thanks luce" I said hugging her. We then headed to the exit.

"Hey , do you guys think I should go see ash for a few minutes before we leave?"

They smiled and said yes simultaneously.

I made my way to ash's room. I saw her lying at the corner of the room. I walked quietly over to her and hazed down at her pale body. It broke my heart to see her like that. She looked so helpless and broken. Her arms were heavily bandaged. I held her hand and pushed her blonde hair away from her face and kissed her cheek.

"Good night Ashley, I love you"


	9. Chapter 9

**(Shay's POV)**

My alarm clock went off, disturbing my slumber. I somewhat managed to wake up from my bed and hit snooze. I had barely gotten any sleep last night as I kept having recurring nightmares of going to the hospital and finding Ashley dead. Each time I woke up, there were tears in my eyes. It was really a horrible night.

I dozed off again for a while before being woken up by the alarm. It was already 9 in the morning and I had to go to the hospital to go check up on ash. So I quickly got off bed. I grabbed my phone and I there was a text from lucy.

"Good morning , love! I hope you had some decent sleep last night. x"

I responded her with "Morning luce. Nope. Didn't have a good sleep, too worried about ash"

I sent the text. I felt tears forming in my eyes again at the thought of Ashley. I rubbed my eyes. I needed to be strong. I can't sit around all day and cry. My phone buzzed again and it was lucy.

"Aw I understand, hun. Well, why don't we have brunch together and we shall go visit ash after that?"

I give it a thought and replied

"Sure luce, I'm up for it"

I got immediate response.

"perfect. I'll ring troian and tell her the plan"

"okay, I will see you girls later x"

I put my phone back and took a shower.

While I was looking for my outfit, I found ash's jacket in the wardrobe. I put it on and caught a quaff of a sweet, light flowery scent. That was the smell of ash's favorite perfume.

I thought back to the day when ash and I went shopping in Milan after the VMAs. It was a perfect day. Ash had asked me to pick me to pick up a perfume as a sort of souvenir for herself from the UK. We went into a little boutique and got one for her. I told her that it smelled like flowers and she giggled.

I found myself smiling zipping up the jacket. I loved wearing her clothes. It felt like a part of her was always with me when I wore them. I had to get ready so I prepared myself some coffee. I sat on the couch and turned on the news. The late morning news was on and they were talking about celebrity gossip. Usually everything they say about the famous people is rubbish. But once in a while, they would actually say things that were true. They switched over to the next news. They showed a blonde girl in a stretcher. I immediately recognized it was Ashley.

Damn paps, they are everywhere. Always intruding in our personal lives.

"Ashley Benson, age 26, an actress of the wildly popular tv series Pretty Little Liars, was rushed to the hospital late last night. we aren't quite sure what's the situation but sources say she has cuts all over her body when being rushed out of her home to the ambulance. Ashley is currently in hospital struggling for life. Will she be alright? Well, we wish her a fast recovery."

I reached for the remote and switched off the tv.

I sat in silence for a while. I heard my phone ring. I wasn't actually ready to talk to anyone but I decided to see who it was. The caller id said "Shannon Benson". It was ashley's mom. I love her but I was kinda shocked. Why is she calling me? Is Ashley alright? I nervously answered the call.

"Hi Mrs. Benson. Is everything fine?"

"Hi shay, I have to talk to you" her voice broke and she struggled to let the words out. "Listen, I'm at the hospital with ash, and things are looking very g… good" she stopped talking for a moment and sniffled. "I don't know how much longer she can take this. She's very weak and doctors are suggesting-" I heard a sob come from the other end.

"Suggesting what?" I frantically asked. The worry was very noticeable in my voice. What if ash was going to die?

She spoke again, obviously holding back tears "They are suggesting I take her off life support"

My heart sunk. I couldn't believe it.

"WHAT? WHY? No!" I said a little louder than I should have.

"Like I said, ash is very weak. She is struggling to stay alive. They don't think she can fight this battle much longer. She might s….slip at any hour now" she began crying.

It broke my heart. Every bit of it broke my heart. My best friends might die. I might never to see her beautiful face again. Or hear her voice ever again. I felt so bad for ashley's mom. I know how strong their bond is. Hearing that the doctors didn't think Ashley could make it much longer was like a stab in the heart. I fought back tears as I spoke.

"Oh my gosh, what are you going to do?"

After a moment of silence, she began to talk.

"I think.. if she didn't wake up before tomorrow night… then.. I might consider taking her off life support"

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't say anything, rather I didn't know what to say.

"Shay, I think if ash was awake now, she would want you and the girls by her side. I want you girls to be with her." She said breaking the silence.

I wiped away the tears and said "Yeah, you're right"

"I have faith in her though. She's always been my strong baby girl"

"Yeah, she's a fighter" I smiled a little.

"So anyways, do you think you'll able to come down and visit her for a while today?" her voice had a hint of hope on it.

"Yes, Mrs. Benson. The girls and I already planned on coming over there. We will be there in an hour"

"Oh, that sounds good. You're such a good friend to Ashley. I'm so glad you're in our lives because, well everyone needs a little shay in their lives, don't they now?" She chuckled softly, trying to cheer me up.

I smiled and said "Aw, thank you Mrs. Benson. I've got to go. I'm meeting up with lucy and troian in a while. I'll see you at the hospital"

"Yes, I'll see you later. Bye for now"

"Bye Mrs. Benson"

The call ended and I put the phone in my pant pocket. I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed. I rested my elbows on my knees and put my face in my hands.

I closed my eyes and thought about Ashley. My mind wandered off back to the day when we first met. We were auditioning for Pretty little liars six years ago. Ashley and I sat were seated next to each other. I was so scared and nervous. But when I met her, my fears and worries seemed to go away. She was such a fun and supportive person. She's so talented as well but she wasn't even aware of it. The first few months were a bit uncertain and confusing time for me. I developed a strong bond with ash, stronger than any friendships in my life. But what confused me was, _I was romantically attracted attracted to her._ I will never label my sexuality and I've said that many times in the interviews. But my feelings for ash was a secret though. Only Sammy knows about this. I didn't want to tell to ash because I didn't want to ruin our beautiful bond. She probably doesn't even feel the same way about me.

And then, as I sat there, I realized something.

Life is short. Too short to not confess my feelings to Ashley.

So I decided to let it off my chest. I told to myself that I would tell Ashley, whether she was awake or not. I just needed to tell her when she was still alive. If she were to die before I confess my feelings, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

That's it. I was finally going to tell her after years of keeping it in.

I prayed once again that she would find the strength to make it and also to feel the same way about me.


	10. Chapter 10

**(Shay's POV)**

I was seated on a restaurant waiting for Troian and Lucy to arrive. It was so hard waiting for them when I had a best friend in the hospital who I needed to see as soon as possible. After a while I saw Lucy and Troian enter through the doors. I waved to them and they came over to the table. Troian sat on my left and lucy sat on my right.

"Hey babe, are you okay?" Troian smiled sweetly at me when she got seated.

I sighed "I'm fine. Actually I wanted to tell you both some-" I got interrupted by the waiter.

"Hey ladies. This is Ryan, I will be your server for today. What can I get you all?" He smiled cheekily at us.

I swear he was checking me out but I couldn't care less. I wasn't in the mood for that kind of attention. It only annoyed me more. We ordered some pizzas so he left to get them for us.

"So, as you were saying. What do you wanna say to us?" Lucy asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, this morning I got a call from ashley's mom. She s..said" I was struggling to even let the words come out of my words. "..she said the doctors suggested to her that ash be taken off of life support." I felt tears already rolling down.

"Oh my god" Troian said.

I still didn't look up. I was still staring at the floor. They didn't have to see me like this. I had to try to be strong.

"What is her mom going to do?" I heard lucy asking worriedly.

I stared at my lap for a moment before lifting up my head up to face them.

"Ash's mum has decided that if she didn't wake up before tomorrow night, then…" I couldn't say anything more. It would hurt so much.

Reality really sucks sometimes. I looked down and I let my tears out. I felt troian's hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me.

"Oh shay, please don't cry. Ashley is a strong girl. Despite all this, I have faith in her. She'll surely make it."

I held her hand and I wiped away my tears. I looked her back up at her.

"I guess" her eyes were filled with visible sadness.

Lucy scooted her chair closer to mine and put her arm around me. I leaned onto her, resting my head on her shoulder.

The rest of the meal was quiet. When we finished eating, we got in to our separate cars and decided to meet up at the hospital.

When I parked at the hospital, I quickly walked to the entrance across the parking lot. As I walked, I saw lucy's car parked. I headed towards her and she was still in the driver's seat. She had her hands on her face and she was shaking. As I went closer it looked like she was crying. Poor luce. Lucy and ash knew each other back when they were kids. It must be very hard for her. I knocked on her window. She quickly wiped away her tears and her runny mascara and looked at me. She looked heartbroken. Once the door was open, I quickly rushed to her side and hugged her.

"Luce, whats wrong?" I ashked, as she began crying on to my shoulder.

"It's just that, I'm really worried about Ashley" she said between sobs.

"Oh babe, I know. I am too" I said patting her back "We have to be strong for her right?"

"Yeah, I'm such a kid at times" she said wiping away her tears.

"It's okay luce the goose. We all have moments when we have to break down and cry a bit to feel a little better"

"You're right shay, when did you get so smart?" She teasingly asked me with a cheeky smile.

"Hey! For your information, I've always been smart" I laughed.

She playfully punched my arm.

"Let's get going then?"

"Yeah, let me just fix my make up. I look like a mess"

I stepped out of the car and watched her.

When she finished, we entered into the hospital. I searched Troian and she was talking with the lady at the reception. I pulled lucy towards her with me. We walked up behind her. She turned around probably heard us coming. She gave us a confused look.

"What took you girls so long? I was getting worried."

I looked at lucy and she was staring at her feet without saying anything.

"Um just a little traffic" I said understanding that lucy didn't want troi to know about her breakdown. It didn't surprise me though. She's usually reserved with her feelings.

"Alright then girls, I met ash's mom and she said us to wait here" Troian said to us.

We nodded our heads simultaneously. Troian then resumed talking to the lady at the desk. While they were talking about ash's situation, lucy and I walked to the chairs and sat next to each other. She put my hand around me and said "Thanks for clearing that up with Troi."

"No problem babe" I smiled at her.

Out of no where I heard a familiar voice. "Shay, lucy!" It was ashley's mum.

I looked at her and waved, giving her a smile. She came over and gave each of us hugs and told us that we should go upstairs to go check up on ash soon. We made small talk with her until Troian come.

Troian then asked "Shay, lucy, you girls ready?"

"Yeah, let's go." I said.

"I'll be down here. You girls go and see." Mrs. Benson said.

"Okay Mrs. Benson" lucy and I got up and followed Troian to the room where Ashley was.

The journey up the stairs was quiet for all three of us. We were all scared and unsure whether or not we are ready to see Ashley in this state. They held my hands but I still was very scared. The only person who could ever make my fears go away was Ashley. But it wasn't possible at the moment. We made it to the room. We stopped at the front, looking at each other, unsure of whether to go inside or not. Troian gave my hand a little squeeze and opened the door. Inside, the lights were dim, but bright enough to see Ashley with numerous wires and machines hooked up to her. My mouth dropped open. She looked terrifically pale and she was thinner than usual. I loosened my grip and walked over to Ashley leaving the others in the front door. I slowly walked over to the bed and looked at her body. She was heavily bandaged and her once happy face was now just emotion less. I felt speechless. I've never felt this empty before. I wanted to scream, hug and cry at the same time. My lower lip quivered, signaling that I was about to lose it all. My head dropped and I cried silently. I heard them crying too which made me even sadder.

Troian, being the one who was the most emotionally stable, said "Shay, if you want to, you can have a moment with her alone. We will be outside"

I sniffled and nodded my head as a response.

They left the room leaving me and Ashley alone. I turned towards her and held her hand.

"Ashley, I have to tell you something. Even if you're not awake, I just need to tell you". A sob escaped my mouth but I continued to speak despite how incomprehensible my words were.

 **(Ashley's POV)**

Out of nowhere, I heard a familiar Canadian voice beside me. The voice belonged to Shay. I tried to make out what she was saying but for some reason I couldn't understand her. I tried opening my eyes but all I kept seeing was the same darkness. I felt her soft hand in mine. My brain tried to send messages to my body to move but nothing happened. My head was throbbing and I felt so helpless. _Where in the world am I? What the hell is happening?_


	11. Chapter 11

**(Shay's POV)**

"Ever since the day we first meet, I've always considered you my best friend. Well, more than just a friend, I should say." I spoke to Ashley as she lied completely still on the hospital bed. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met. You know just how to cheer me up no matter how down I am. You've got a heart of gold, Ashley. Always have a smile on that beautiful face of yours."

My vision was blurry with tears, and I held on to ash's hand like it was the only thing I had left in the world. And it kind of felt like it was. If Ashley was to vanish forever, I don't know what I would do. I sighed and rubbed off the mascara that had run down on my cheeks.

"And even though you're not even awake, I just need to get this off my chest. Ashley I-"

I froze when her hand twitch in mine. I couldn't believe it. Is she awake finally? I stared at her.

"Ashley?"

She remained motionless. I checked her pulse on her wrist.

There was no pulse, nothing.

Time stood still for a minute, and everything seemed to stop. One of the monitors that was hooked onto ash's body started beeping rapidly.

"ASHLEY? ASHLEY PLEASE WAKE UP. PLEASE" I screamed and began to cry hysterically.

I held and hand tightly as I continued to shout at her unconscious body. I heard Troian coming inside the door but I didn't stop. Ashley had to wake up. This couldn't be the end.

"SHAY! STOP THIS YOU'RE HURTING HER" I heard troian's panicked voice. Soon lucy came in and they both grabbed me by my arms and began pulling me away from Ashley.

I tried to shake myself free, but they were too strong. "NO STOP! STOP! SHE'S GONE! SHE'S DEAD"I shouted at them.

Their grasp slowly loosened as I fell to the floor crying. No one said anything. The only sounds in the room were my heartbroken sobs and he beeping monitors. I sat there on the cold, hard floor, crying my heart out. Suddenly the doors busted open and the doctors came rushing in, immediately to Ashley. They started to do something to bring back Ashley. Lucy slowly pulled me off the ground and held me close. I cried into her chest. She was crying too.

"S.. she's gone. I didn't even tell her what I wanted to tell." I said in between sobs. "How can this happen? Why did this happen? She was so young. She doesn't deserve this"

Lucy held my shaking body. She tried to console me by drawing circles on my came over to us and I looked up at her. She had tears in her eyes as well and her eyes were the saddest ones I have ever seen.

Troian spoke, her voice was weak "Let's go sit. The doctors said to stay us out of the way"

Lucy nodded her head. I didn't say or do anything. I still can't process the fact that she's gone. Forever. Troian took our hands and lead us to the couch on the other side of the room. We sat doe. Troian on my left and luce on my right. My crying was now silent. I had lost all my strength and energy that I once had. I curled up into a ball and leaned again Troian.

"Shay, lucy.. just know whatever happens, Ashley will be for us in spirit" Troian said quietly as she stared off into the space.

I couldn't believe it. I had just lost my best friend. My soulmate. Someone that can never be replaced. We sat there for what felt like hours watching the doctors work on getting Ashley back. Suddenly, a machine began whirring and the doctors began talking to each other with a weird hint of enthusiasm.

"It is what I think it is?"

"I think it is"

My heads shot up and I sat at the edge of the seat.

"What's going on?" I asked the doctors.

A doctor glanced at ash before turning towards us.

"Well, a weird thing happened. It seems like Ashley is with us again."

And with those words, my mouth dropped wide open.

"You mean she's alive?" lucy asked.

"She's still asleep but yes, she's alive."

I managed to smile a bit. There was still hope for Ashley.

Another doctor came over to us and said "We will let Ashley rest for now. It's alright if you girls wanna go over and sit with her. But just make sure to be careful with her. She's very fragile at the moment."

"Okay, thank you. We'll be gentle with her." Troian said.

I looked at lucy and then Troian, and said "So there's still hope"

They smiled lightly.

"Yeah, there is still hope" Lucy said.

Suddenly, the door swung open. It was ashley's mom. She looked very worried, and rushed to her daughter.

She held ashley's hand and turned to us.

"Is she okay? I heard sh.. she was dead"

"No, well, now she's alive." Troian said.

"How did this happen?"

"Well, she did pass out for like 10 minutes but her heart was strong enough to bring her back." Troian tried to explain.

"Thank god, she's alive."

She then turned to Ashley and began talking to her. "I love you. Stay strong, sunshine." She kissed ashley's cheek.

"Girls, I have to get back to work. I will be back later tonight to check up on her"

"Okay, we'll watch her for you." I said.

"Thank you" she said with a smile.

After a while, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. My mentions were full of people asking how ashley's doing. Our fans were very worried. I turned to toian and lucy.

"Hey guys, do you think we should let the fans know what's happening? To clear up the rumours? They're so worried" I asked them.

After a while they both said yes. Troian said "Yeah. That's a good idea. They deserve to know what is happening. After all, our pll army deserves to know right. They're such great and supportive fans"

Lucy chucked lightly and said "You do know that you're really cheeky at times?"

"Oh shut up, luce the goose." Troian grinned.

I giggled and said "When are we doing this? I was thinking a livestream might be a good way to do it"

"I have my laptop in my car. I will go get it and we can do now."lucy said.

"Yeah, you do that. I have to fix my make up. I look like a mess rn" I said fixing my hair.

"Alright, I'll get it" She left the room.


	12. Chapter 12

**(Shay's POV)**

Troian, lucy and I were seated on the couch, facing the laptop. We were logged in to our twitter and Troian was typing a new tweet.

"Hey guys. Shay, lucy and I will be on a live stream in about 5 minutes on facebook to talk about ashley. Stay tuned in. xx"

She posted the tweet. We instantly got thousands of rts, favs and replies. We waited for five minutes to go live. Afer 5 minutes, we launched the live stream. The comments exploded with messages from fans all over the world.

"Hey everyone" Lucy said smiling at the camera.

"Hello you all" Troian joined in.

"Hey guys" I said at last.

We spent a few minutes randomly answering questions because we waited for some more people to start watching. Soon, every question in the comment section were about Ashley and we decide it was the time to tell them.

"So.." Troian started, "we know a lot of you are wondering what has happened to Ashley. We are gonna tell you what's going on"

I took a deep breath and said "Well, Ashley has been here since yesterday. I don't think we are ready to tell everyone why just yet. Ashley isn't doing very well. We almost lost her earlier today."

Tears began to fall from my eyes at the painful memory of almost loosing her today. My head hung low. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. Lucy put her arm around me and I gently rested my head on her shoulder.

"We are so worried about her. All she needs is prayer now so I request you all to please keep her in your prayers. It would mean a lot t us and her family." Lucy said.

I stared at the floor as the room suddenly was very silent. We were all unsure of what to say next. Troian wiped away her tear which I didn't notice before. I reached out for her and gave her hand a little squeeze.

"Well, thanks everyone for watching. We will keep you updated." I said forcing a smile.

Lucy and Troian said their goodbyes before we logged out. After a while, we went back to twitter. There were thousands of mentions, all were prayers for Ashley. There were two worldwide trends,

#GetWellSoonAshley and

#PrayForAshley.

We read so many positive tweets and even some nice tweets.

It gave me hope. I glanced at Ashley from across the room. She was laying peacefully, her chest rising and falling slowly. I got up from the couch and walked over to her. I stood by her side and held her hand. She was sleeping peacefully like an angel. I reached out and stroked her beautiful blonde hair. I began to lose myself in her beauty and smiled. Then out of no where… a miracle happened. Her eyelids fluttered open, revealing those mesmerizing blue eyes I thought I would I never see again. I froze, unable to process what was happening. A tired, but happy smile formed on her lips. I found myself grinning at her like an idiot.

"Ashley!" I said taking her hand in mine.

"Hey shan shan" she said with a big smile on her face.

I heard Troian and lucy come rushing over to Ashley.

"Oh my god, Ashley you're awake" Lucy said smiling brightly.

"Thank goodness, you're alive" troian said, with a big grin.

We all attempted to hug her. But it's so hard to hug someone who is laying down on the bed and can't hug you back. So it was more of an awkward group embrace.

"We thought we might have lost you forever." I said.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for it to go this far" Ashley said, her smile was slowly fading.

"Don't worry babe, we will talk about that later" Troian said, placing her arm on ash's shoulder.

"I better get some doctor. I think they should know that you're out of this coma thingy" Lucy said.

"Yeah, that's a good idea" I said.

Ashley visibly slowly began waking up and becoming more alert. It made us happy knowing that she's alright finally.

We were standing patiently beside the hospital bed as the doctor began to ask questions to Ashley.

"So ashley, how are you feeling now?"

"I'm alright I guess. Kinda tired though" She responded.

"Oh, how does your wrists feel?"

The atmosphere in the room went from sight of relief to awkwardness. It was a sensitive subject for ash and it was made quite obvious from her red cheeks.

"They feel kinda sore on some spots, others are numb."

"Oh I see. It's not uncommon. I will visit you later today. You'll be fine soon" he said with a soft smile.

"Thank you" Ashley said.

The girls and I mouthed thank you's to the doctor.

"Well, it's about time for dinner. We shall go to cafeteria and have something. And ash, if you're hungry, we will get something for you"

"No, I'm not hungry" she said with an expression less face.

"Okay, let's go luce" Troian took lucy's hand and they both left the room leaving me and Ashley alone.

I turned to Ashley and smiled. She smiled back at me but it wasn't a serious one.

"Ash, are you okay?" I asked her.

She shrugged her shoulders and said "I'm fine"

I gently placed my hand on her bandaged arm. Her face looked up at me with sadness and regret.

"Why?" I asked and looked in her blue eyes for an answer.

"I'm sorry, shan" Her eyes filled with tears. "I just didn't know what to do. I just wanted the horrible voice in my head to go away. And whenever I cut, my mental pain will go away for a while."

I wiped her cheek with my thump.

"What were the voices inside your head saying to you?" I asked her.

Her head hung low.

"Babe, you can tell me anything. Unless you're not ready." I reassured her.

"It's just.. so many people online are hating me for no reason at all. It hurts me. They always tell me I'm not good enough. And also that I'm ugly and fat. I can't forget their harsh words. What have I done? Why do they hate me so much shay?"

It broke my heart. It was unbelievable how cruel people were to her.

"Ashley, I'm so sorry" I held her hand as I painfully watched her fall apart. "Those people are just jealous of how amazing you are."

She shook her head and said "But I'm not. I'm a stupid, worthless piece of shit" she sobbed.

"No ash, you're not. You're a beautiful person inside and out" I sat on the bed and tried to comfort her.

"I wish I could believe that."

A sudden thought crossed my mind. I had a way to make her believe it. _No, that's crazy. Don't do this Shay.. but I have to. Now is my chance._ I bent down and gazed deeply on ashley's blue eyes. Our faces where just inches apart. She looked into my eyes with confusion.

"Maybe you'll believe it now" I said to her and leaned in.

I slowly filled the gapped between us and pressed my felt my lips gently press against hers. They felt soft and warm. Time stood still as we were connected for those few moments. I moved my lips against hers but got nothing in return. I broke the kiss and saw her staring at me in complete shock. She couldn't believe what I had just done or nor could I.

"I—Ashley, I'm sorry—I didn't know why.." I stuttered, trying to explain myself.

Her face still held that confused look. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say something, but nothing came out.

I couldn't hold back my tears. _Good job Shay. You just ruined everything._ I looked off into space and shook my head.

"I'm sorry, I should go." I said, before leaving the room.

She didn't stop me. It wasn't like the movies where the person calls out for them to come back and them they would kiss and make up. It wasn't like that. There was only silence in the room. The door shut behind me, serving as a sad reminder how I just had ended everything. _She probably hates me right now, she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Stupid move Shay._ Tears began falling from my eyes and I leaned my back against the door.


	13. AN

**AN : Hey guys! I know it's been too long since I updated the fic. Been a little busy with exams and stuff. I promise I'll update very soon. The responses to this fic has been incredible. Thank you so much for that, means a lot. Keep supporting me, I love you all xx**


	14. Chapter 13

**(Ashley's POV)**

The door shut behind Shay. I was frozen. So many things were going through my head at that moment. I laid there on the bed, staring at the closed door. I couldn't belive what had just happened. She actually kissed me.. The girl of my dreams actually kissed me and I did nothing in return. That's a lot to take in. I wished i had said something. I did have felings for her, but it all happened in a fraction of seconds. I could have kissed her back but i didn't. She will obviously feel like crap and I can't digest the fact that the reason was actually my silence. I can never forgive myself for that. There was never any warning that Shay and mine's relationship was possibly going somewhere other than being best friends. And it was my first ever girl kiss. And I didn't even do anything about it.

 _Wow you really blew it Ashley._

I creid a little and i don't know why, but crying always makes me sleepy so i dozed off immediately.

When i woke up, my mom was sitting in a chair beside my bed. She was holding my hand like how she did when I was younger. Her eyes lit up when she saw that i was awake.

"Ashley, my baby You're alright!" She said, with tears of joy brimming her eyes.

"Yeah, here I am. I missed you so much."

She sniffled and shook her head sadly. "I missed you too.." We sat there in silence. My mum then spoke again. "Baba, how come you never told anyone about your cutting?"

The smile on my face quickly vanished and I sighed, slowly sitting up on my bed.

"I don't know, I was just too scared of what people might think. I didn't want to be judged for it." I said, avoiding my mom's eyes.

"Oh, ashley. I see what you mean but please, from now on- always tell me or one of the girls about what's troubling you." She told me with a stern face.

"Okay, i will." I replied.

"Alright, i dont wanna disturb you anymore. Sleep for a while. I will be here when you wake up." She said giving me a soft smile.

I nodded my head.

 **(Shay's POV)**

I was basically crying my eyes out. It felt like i ruined our friendship. It kinda felt like its the end for us. I was sitting in a chair in the waiting room waiting for the girls.

Troian and lucy came after a while.

At that moment i was not crying but one could guess that i was crying for a long time seeing my eyes. So obviously troian noticed and she started to question me.

"Oh my god, Shay! What's wrong? Did anything happen to ashley when we were away?" she asked and i could sense the nervousness in her voice.

"No, no! She's fine. Ashley's mom is with her."

"But why were you crying baba? Is evrything fine between you two?" she asked with a concerned face.

I silently noded "No, i ruined it" I couldn't control my tears.

Lucy hugged me from sideways " What's wrong shay? You know you can tell anything to us"

"I know guys, but i just don't know how to start. I think I just ruined everything with me and Ashley." I replied.

I shook my head and said "Forget it, I don't want to talk about it.

Troian and Lucy gave me looks of disbelief.

"Oh, come on Shay!" Lucy said.

"Guys... I..." My voice choked but I wanted to let this off my chest.

"Guys, I love ashley. More than I should.." I fianlly found the words.

"I have always loved her as more than a friend. I wish I didn't but I do." I said with a stern face.

"OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT" lucy said like a child.

"That's great, Shay! Did you tell ashley about this?" troian asked me.

"Yeah, just some mins back." I said holding back my tears.

"That is literally the cutest and most unexpected news I've gotten in a long time!" Lucy chimed in.

I couldn't believe what they were saying.

"Wait you guys are actally okay with me liking Ashley?" I asked in confusion.

"Yeah silly! We love you and Ash uncondtionally, no matter who you guys love." Troian said.

My face slowly fell. "But that's the thing though, I don't think Ash likes me back."

"What makes you think that?" Lucy asked me.

I thought about it for a moment and said, "Today, after you guys left to go eat, Ash and I were talking about her cuts. When she was explaining to me why she hurt herself, she said that she felt worthless and ugly. I told her she was beautiful and she said "I wish I could believe that", so I did something stupid to make her believe it.. I kissed her." Tears filled in my eyes as I spoke. "And when i ended the kiss, you know what she did? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! She just stared at me like i was an alien or something. She didn't even utter a word. And I left because she probably hates me now for completely ruining our friensdhip."

A few tears slipped out of my eyes, which I immediately wiped. Troian and Lucy moved closer to me and gave me a hug.

"Babe, Yours and Ashley's frienship is so strong that I think you and her will get through this soon" Troian said.

"I hope so." I said not looking up.

"Oh Shay, please don't worry about it too much. Maybe ash just needs some time to think" Lucy said to me.

"I guess so." I said.

"Oh babe, come here." Troian said reaching her arms out to me.

I accepted the hug and buried my face into her shoulder. I felt Lucy's hand on my arm. I looked up at her and she forced a little smile, trying to light up the really cared about me. That's something that I cannot thank them enough for.

"Can you guys stay with me tonight? I don't wanna be alone" I asked them.

"Oh darling, sure!" They said comforting me with a hug.

After a few minutes, we all left and I felt an ache in my heart. I felt horrible about leaving Ashley behind. But I guessed it was what I had to do. After all, I figured she probably was upset with me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

When we made it out to the hospital's parking lot, we were immediately bombarded by paps.

"Shit." I cursed under my breathe, having forgotten that they were camped out there, waiting for news on Ashley.

I felt troian protectively grab my hand as she lead me to her car. Cameras rapidly flashed and paps shouted out hundreds of questions to us. I kept my head down, trying my best to hide my bloodshot eyes. We made in to Troi's car and lucy sat on the back seat. Troian drove off to my home.

"We're here for you, Shay" Troian said, gesturing to herself and Lucy, who was seated in the back. "Don't you worry, We'll always be together no matter what happens." She said.

 _Oh how I wish I didn't have to worry about anything right now._

 **A/N: I'm finally free and I will try to update frequtnly like I used to. Thanks for the support people :) xx**


	15. Chapter 14

**(Shay's POV)**

We reached my home at around 8 pm. We then sat for a while and watched some tv but I can't concentrate on any damn thing. I can only think of ashley and how I ruined our perfect friendship. So I decided to take a walk outside , you know to get some fresh air.

"Shay, Forget everything that happened in the hospital. I mean it." Lucy said to me with a concerned face.

"Um.. its kind of hard to forget when that's all you can think of." I sighed.

"Well babe, you didn't do anything wrong? and maybe ash just needs some time to process what had happened since it was totally unexprected? C'mon shannon, just let it die for a while." Lucy said to me.

"Yeah, I will try to." I said standing up from the couch.

"Wait, where are you going?" Troian asked me with a confused face.

"I'm just gonna go take a walk, you know, to clear my head and think about some things." I responded.

"Do you want us to come with you? It's kinda getting dark and we don't want anything bad happen to you." Lucy said.

"I think I need some alone time, but thanks anyways. I know I literally begged you guys to stay with me tonight but at this moment, just give me an hour or so. I will be right back soon. Okay guys?" I told them.

"Okay" Lucy and Troian said together.

I left Lucy and Troian and headed out the front door. I shut the door behind me and started to walk aimlessly around the building.

The chill wind immediately hit my skin. _Ugh.. I should have brought a jacket._ But I really didn't care much. I just wanted to be alone for a while and beathe in some fresh air. I wrapped my arms around myself to stay warm and began walking down a street. There's a park nearby and I decided to go there.

After about 10 minutes of walking, I reached the park. I unlatched the gate and entered the field. There was just the light of the moon and the stars. It was kinda peaceful. And there was no one in sight. Good, just the way I like it.

I tried to free my mind but all I could think of is "The Ashley situation". We've been friends for like seven years now. I have always loved her, more than I should. The irony is that I've left lucy and troi back in my home so i can come here and forget about her but guess what? I couldn't even think of anyhting other than her. _My beautiful Ashley Victoria Benson._

But I can't believe how low she thinks of herself. I hope that one day she can see it. The way her smile is infectious. How when she walks into a room everyone feels lighter. She can bright up this whole universe with her gorgeous smile. I wish she could see it - how she is much more than just beautiful.

I remembered the first day we met. Even though we just met, it kinda felt like we knew each other for decades. I could feel the _connection_ with her. I've not quite experienced the connection with anyone else before. She has always been my rock. And we have always been physically very close. To the fact that our fans ship us romantically. but oh, how dumb am I? I literally made everything worse. Our friendship or whatever is OVER.

I couldn't let our frienship sink. _I will not lose Ashley. Even if she hates me now, I can't afford to lose her._

 _ **(Ashley's POV)**_

I sat in the hospital bed, gazing absently at the tv. My mind was elsewhere. I was in deep thought about many things - Cutting, My family, My friends but most of all Shay.

I grabbed my phone. There wasn't many messages or calls since everyone I know knew I was in the hospital. I then opened up my twitter and glanced through some tweets. It was good to see our fans praying hard for me to get well. It really meant a lot.

BUT No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my mind off the kiss.

I sighed and laid down. I stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours before falling into a restless sleep.

 **(Shay's POV)**

After I visited the park last night, I ran back home in tears. When I had entered the room, I completely ignored lucy and troian, who were seated on my couch eating popcorn and watching a movie, and I ran to my room. I locked myself in my bedroom for the rest of the night and refused to let either of the girls in. I spent hours crying over Ashley.

Looking back at the previous night I probably should have let the girls into my room. They seemed pretty worried about me. After the girls tried to talk me into letting them in over half a hour, they finally left.

I laid there on my bed for some more minutes before reaching over to pick up my phone. I had like 15 text messages, 8 from Lucy, 6 from troian and one from Ashley. I froze for a second. _What the hell? Ash texted me? I thought she hated me after that kiss._ I quickly unlocked the phone. I was kina nervous to open the message but I gathered all my remaining guts to open the message from Ashley.

"Hey Shay. Are you coming to the hospital today? I think we need to talk."

My eyes widened. She actually wants to talk to me. I didn't know what to respond yet, so I closed the message and read the other messages from Troian and lucy. Lucy's texts were all from last night, telling me to come out of my room and talk to them because they were worried about me, Troian's were the same, except there was one text from about an hour before I woke up.

"Shay, give me a call when you wake up. Hope you're feeling better now xx"

I opened the door and they were seated in the garden.

"Shay, thank goodness you're fine! Are you alright now?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." I said.

I immediately briought up Ashley's text.

"So, um, Ash texted me this morning asking if I was going to visit her today."

"Wow, are you going to?" Troian asked.

"I thought about it for a moment, then said "Yes".

An hour later, we were at the hospital parking lot.

"Hey Shay, you ready?" Troian asked.

I sighed and said "Yeah, I think Ash and I really need to sort this out, no matter how scared I am of rejection."

"Oh, just stay positive babe. I'm sure everything will be alright. But try not to be afraid."

Her words gave me some hope. We stepped out of the car and I started to walk straight towards Ash's room. I needed to get this shit done.

"Go in babe, I'll be out here. Take your time, I know you guys will take a while."

"Alright."

 **(Ashley's POV)**

The door opened and I sat cross legged in my bed. Shay walked into the room and immediately walked towards me.

"Hi." She said, giving me a weak smile.

"Hey." I returned the smile.

"So... how have you been?" Shay asked me.

"I've been doing fine." I said.

"Well thats good."

There was a moment of silent.

"I had a meeting witha psychologist today."

"What did you guys talk about? What did he say?" She asked me.

"After a long discussion about my life, my actions and my feelings, he diagnosed me with depression."

Shay's eye grew big and her lips parted slightly.

"Oh." She whispered in shock.

"Yeah." I said.

"Ash, you'll get through this, I know you'll. And I'll be by your side for ervy bit of it." She said reaching out my hand.

"Thank you, Shan" I smiled at her and held her hand. "Can I hug you?" I blurted out before even thinking about it.

She giggled lightly and said "Yes, of course silly"

No longer having any wires hooked up to me, I got off the bed and stood in front of her. She opened her arms to me, and i went in for the hug. I buried my face into her neck and sighed.

"You'll be okay soon, Ash" She said, squeezing me tighter.

We broke the hug a minute later and Shay spoke again.

"So... about the kiss yesterday... I'm really, really sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

I shook my head and said, "Shay, I'm not mad at you for it. It's just that, it all happened so fast that I couldn't even begin to process what was happening. I'm actually quite glad that you had the courage to kiss me."

Shay looked shocked.

"Wait, what? You're glad I kissed you?"

I smiled at her warmly and said

"Yes."


	16. Chapter 15

**(Ashley's POV)**

The expression on Shay's face was priceless. I had just told her that I was glad she kissed me, and she seemed to be quite pleased.

"So what does this mean for us?" I asked her.

Shay shrugged her shoulders and said, "It can mean anything you want it to."

"Well, I've always wanted to date you, so maybe we could consider ourselves to be dating?" I said to Shay.

She smirked and said, "I like that idea. And just for the record, I've wanted to date you for years now."

I felt a blush rise to my pale cheeks.

"So it's settled then, we are officially dating" I winked at her.

I stepped closer to her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. I pulled back and smiled at her as I watched a flood of happiness wash over her facial expression.

"So.. When are you getting out of here?" Shay asked me, changing the subject.

"The doctors told me I could go home tonight if I'm ready to." I replied her.

"Are you ready to?"

I scoffed, "Yes, of course"

"Okay, I just want you to be safe and in a good condition." She said.

"I think I'll be fine as soon as I begin getting help from Dr. Smith."

"That's the psychologist, right?" Shay asked.

"Yeah. That's him. So anyways, when do we have to get back to work?"

"Well I don't know yet, we haven't decided anything. Maybe they'll offer you a month off."

I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up at her.

"But I don't want a month off. I don't wanna be alone. I gotta get back to work at the same time you guys start filming. Please, don't leave me alone."

"Please rest at least for a week. You need this. Your body needs this." She sat down next to me and held my hand. "Don't worry about the fans, they'll understand."

"Wait.. what do the fans know so far about all of this?" I asked, slightly worried.

"Well, everyone knows that you're in the hospital, but no one knows why yet." Shay said.

I sighed and nodded my head.

"You're gonna be okay, Ash. We'll get through this together." She said.

Shay gave me a hug from the side and kissed me on the cheek.

After a few minutes, Shay said that she wanted to go get troian from outside. I let her go and she came back in with Troian, who was very happy to see me. Shay and I didn't tell her anything about us being together, but we did say that we made up.

 **(Shay's POV)**

I held Ash's hand as we began walking towards the exit of the hospital.

Troian had left an hour before, so it was just Ashley and I.

Right before we reached the door, I stopped her and asked, "You ready? There's probably a lot of paps outside."

She slowly nodded her head and said, "Yep."

I took a deep breath and pulled her outside.

Just as I expected, there were tons of paparazzi. It was dark outside, but the front of the building was well lit, due to the dozens of camera flashes going off.

Hundreds of questions were being shouted all at once.

"Ashley! What happened?"

"Ash, over here! Why were you in the hospital?"

But there was one that caught my attention.

"Ashley! IS it true that you tried to kill yourself?"

My eyes immediately darted towards Ash. She looked scared and I could see tears in her eyes. I gripped her hand tighter and let her to my car out in the parking lot. We got in the car and sped off.

Once we were on the highway, I broke the silence between us.

"Do you want to go to your placee or mine?"

Ash didn't say anything. She just shrugged and continued to stare out the window.

I sighed and said "Okay then, we're going to mine."

I didn't think Ash was ready to be alone yet.

Over time, I have come to realize that Ashley is one of those people who keeps their mouths shut when they're upset. She rarely ever asks for help when she needs it. She tends to keep everything bottled up inside of her. That's just the kind of person she is.

We pulled up to my building and got out of the car. There was no paps and I was thankful.

When we got inside I turned on the lights and walked further inside. I turned around and saw Ash standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Her head hung low and she looked restless. I walked over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay babe?"

Ash looked up at me with watery eyes. She looked down at the floor with her eyes squeezed shut and shook her head.

"Come here" I said, as I spread my arms out for her to hug me.

She sniffled and clung onto my body, using every ounce of strength she had to not cry. I wrapped my arms around her and stroked her hair. Despite trying so hard not to cry, soon her body was rattling with sobs.

"It's okay, let it out. You've been so strong for such a long time. It's alright to break down every once in a while." I tried to soothe her with my words.

Ash buried her face into my neck and sobbed. She was getting my shirt wet, but I didn't really care. I needed to be there for her.

I let her cry for a minute before asking her what was wrong.

"It's just.. it's the paps..." She explained to me through her sobs. "They're so pushy and they ask too much. How did that one person even get the idea that I tried to kill myself?"

I held her tighter and said, "I don't know, Ash. People will use any and every rumour that they hear against us, just to get under our skin. Please don't let it get to you too bad baby."

"Okay.. I'll try not to." She said weakly.

At the end of her breakdown, I suggested we go to bed, since it was getting late.

"You can sleep in the guest room, if that's alright with you." I told ash.

"Yeah, that's fine." She said.

"And I guess you'll be needing some pajamas for tonight, won't you?"

Ash smiled weakly and said, "Yeah."

"Come with me." I said, taking her hand and leading her to my room.

I went into my closer and came back with a pair of pajama pants and tee's for her. She took them and thanked me.

"Good night my love" I said.

"Good night." She said.

I leaned in and kissed Ashley's lips. When I pulled back, she kissed me in return.

"You know what? How would you like to sleep in here with me tonight instead? I asked her.

She smiled and said, "I think I'd like that very much."

"Okay you go change and I'll be waiting for you in here."

When I finshed getting dressed, I laid down on my bed. Ashley then got changed and got in bed with me. I lifted up my blankets for her to get underneath of. She smiled and snuggled up against me. It felt so right to be there with her.

"You know what?" I asked Ash.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head so that she was looking at me in the eyes.

"You're so beautiful."

Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red and she broke the eye contact.

"You're more beautiful."

"Shhhh.. well thanks babe, but really, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met." I said.

"Aw Shan shan.. that's so sweet... I love you."

I smiled at her and said "I love you more"

Ash moved closer an kissed me slowly. I melted into the kiss and couldn't help but smile against her lips because I was finally with the girl of my dreams.

Ash and I fell asleep with my arms wrapped around her. It was more perfect than I could have ever imagined.


	17. Chapter 16

**(Shay's POV)**

I woke up the next morning with Ashley's arms wrapped around my waist, holding me against her body as she slept. I felt so warm and cozy, I didn't want to leave. I sighed happily and closed my eyes again for a few moments.

"You awake?" Ash startled me.

My eyes shot open and I jumped a little.

"Oops, sorry babe I didn't mean to scare you." She said.

I flipped myself over so that I was on my other side, facing Ashley.

"It's okay ash." I said to her, "Good morning, my little sunshine."

She smiled and said "Good morning shan shan"

I kissed her nose and she kissed my lips in return. But she wasn't done just yet.

Ash went in for another one, only this time it was much more romantic. I felt her tongue press against my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I let Ash have her way and our kiss quickly became a full-on make out session. After some time though, we were out of breath, so we pulled away and took a deep breath as we stared into each other's eyes.

I gazed into her piercing blue eyes that were so mesmerizing, you could actually get lost in them forever. But the moment came to a stop when Ash's phone started to ring.

She rolled her eyes as she sat up so she could reach the phone. She picked it up and brought it to her ear.

"Hello?" Ash said.

She was silent as she listened.

"Shayyyy!" Ash's face lit up in realization of who was calling.

They talked for a few minutes while I played with Ash's hair.

When she was ending the conversation, she whispered "I miss you."

A tear slid down her cheek as she said goodbye to her sister. She quickly wiped it away. When she hung up, she put her phone back on the table and sighed, snuggling up underneath the sheets again. I kissed her cheek and ran my fingers through her hair.

"You really miss Shay don't you?"

Ash looked up at me and silently nodded.

"You know what? You should go home and see her one of these days."

"Yeah, guess I better plan that out soon." She said.

"So how about I make some breakfast for you and me now, yeah?"

"Sure, I'll come with you, Shan." She smiled weakly and we got off bed.

 **(Ashley's POV)**

Shay and I sat at the table, eating eggs and bacon. It was really good, but I felt that inner demon poking me, telling me to stop eating. I tried to get it out of my head by listening contently to Shay talk as we eat, but I couldn't do it. I had nearly finished my plate but right then I felt a huge wave of guilt and sickness all over me. I excused myself and walked out the dining room and into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and locked it. My breathing was uneven.

"Ugh, fuck!" I whispered to myself.

I couldn't even eat a full meal without feeling sick or wanting to throw up.

This sucks. _You're so fucking messed up._

I ran my fingers through my hair nervously and felt sick to my stomach.

 _Why do you even bother eating anymore?_

I couldn't hold it anymore. I got on my knees and threw up in the toilet.

After I made sure every bit of food was out of my system, I got up slowly and cleaned myself up before leaving the bathroom.

When I got back to the table, Shay asked me if I was alright.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said.

We sat in silence as she finished her food.

"You done eating?" Shay asked me as she took the last bite of her scrambled eggs.

"Yep, I'm full. Thanks for the breakfast shan, it was really good." I smiled at her.

She smiled back at me and got up to clear the table. I picked up my plate and helped her clean up a bit.

After we finished cleaning up, she asked me, "So, what do you wanna do today?"

" I don't know… how about we just stay in for today?"  
"Sure, we can watch movies on the couch, yeah?" She said.

"Sounds great." I smiled at her.

Soon we were snuggled up on the couch together watching Tangled, which was Shay's request. I was the little spoon and She was the big spoon. Our bodies fitted together perfectly.

Later, we ordered takeout, which I ate some of it, but I couldn't force down anymore, in fear of feeling sick again. I'm pretty sure she noticed but she didn't say anything. I'm not sure why though.

Later that night, Shay and I were lying in bed together, watching tv. I became bored with the show that we were watching. so I began kissing her neck. She giggled and kissed my lips passionately.

Out of nowhere, Shay pulled back from the kiss and said "You're so beautiful."

I felt my face burn up, and I involuntarily broke the eye contact with her. It was like any sign of a compliment sent a huge wall up right around me. I couldn't understand being given them without an ulterior motive, without something negative, without it being a lie. I had been called ugly too many times to fully believe that I looked "Beautiful".

Shay grabbed my chin and forced me to look up, more forcefully than she had ever before.

"Don't look like that." She whispered.

"I'm working on it." I smiled.

Shay leaned back, pulling me with her, and locked her arms tight around me, placing her forehead against mine. The look she was giving me was so intense.

"You know what I wish?"

"What?"

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes."

Shay's fingers ran through my hair and I closed my eyes, sighing softly at how good it felt.

"I wish you knew how I see you, and all this self-doubt would go away."

"I'm trying…" I said apprehensively.

I felt her lips against mine.

"Please do." She said, before turning off the light beside the bed.

I laid in darkness, staring at the ceiling in silence for what felt like hours. I was thinking about the day. Everything went great except for the meal situation.

 _I actually did it… I threw up my meal. What if shay finds out? What if I can't stop? What if-_

My thoughts were cut off by shay's little snore. I sighed and shifted slightly so that my head was on her chest.

I don't know why, but I felt like crying. I let my tears fall and I silently cried into shay's chest.

And somewhere during that, I drifted off into a deep sleep.


	18. Chapter 17

**(Ashley's POV)**

The next day went by quickly. Shay and I just hung around and watched some more movies. I really liked spending my days with Shan. She makes me so happy and that's exactly what I wanted right now in my life. I didn't realize I was staring at her and she noticed oops.

"Ash?" Shay said. _I swear shy shay is the cutest thing ever_

"I love you so much" I said smiling.

"Aww my baby, I love you more" She said, and kissed me softly on the lips.

I kissed her back and pulled her into a hug. We stood there, enjoying being in each other's arms.

After a while, my phone chimed, signaling that I gotten a new text. I checked the message and it was from Lucy.

" _You and Shay wanna go to the club tonight with me, Troi and Sasha?"_

I asked Shay if she was up for it and she said yes, so I texted back,

" _Sure what time do you wanna meet up there?"_

I got a reply just seconds later.

"In 3 hours?"  
I texted back, agreeing on the time and then put my phone down to resume having my dinner.

When I was almost done putting on my mascara, I noticed Shay watching me out of the corner of my eye. I felt a smile creep up onto my face as I pretended not to notice. I finished applying my mascara and I put it back down. I turned my eyes to Shay, who was still standing there quietly with a little smile, watching me.

"What are you doing?" I poked her stomach playfully.

"She jerked away from the poke and laughed, "Nothing much, just admiring my beautiful girlfriend"

My heart skipped a beat.

 _She just called me her girlfriend._

"So you're saying we're girlfriends?" I asked, biting my lip.

Shay blushed and said "Well, yeah, but only if you wanna use that term"

I smiled and kissed her on the lips.

"Shay Mitchell, my girlfriend… I think I like that." I said.

She kissed me again and said, "I like that too."

The cab ride to the club was short, since it was just about 10 minutes from Shay's place.

When we got out of taxi, there were people everywhere. I instinctively grabbed Shay's hand as we walked closer to the entrance of the club.

"Well Hello there, world's cutest couple" Lucy popped up in front of us, shouting a little too loudly as she pulled both of us in for a hug.

"Luce! Be quiet! We're not planning on going public for a while." I whisper shouted her.

She released us from her arms and giggled.

"Oops. Well I'm sure nobody heard that, after all, there must be a few hundred people here tonight and they're all talking so it's a bit hard to hear over that and the music."

"Yeah, Don't worry about it Ash. It'll be fine." Shay said.

I smiled and said "Okay."

Sasha and troian came towards us. It was the first time I'm seeing Sasha after the incident so I was feeling a bit weird.

"Hey babe, so nice to see you" Sasha said hugging me.

"Same here, Sash." I said smiling. I felt kinda emotional seeing the support I'm getting from my friends.

"Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's go in!" Troian butted into our conversation.

We laughed a bit at Troian's eagerness to get inside. We made our way through the packed club slowly. Tonight was a big night because there was a famous DJ playing later.

I was ready for the night. I wanted to take my mind off all the stressful stuff and just let go for a while.

 _It's time to be free._

My grip tightened on Shay's hand as we pushed though the mosh pit of people dancing. I wasn't sure where we were going, but I didn't really care. I knew that as long as I had Shay by my side, it was going to be a good night.

A few minutes later, Shay said that we go find the rest of the girls so we can all do a few rounds of shots together. I was already having some drinks with Shay. When I pushed myself off from my leaning position on the edge of the bar, I suddenly felt dizzy. Yep… I was getting tipsy already.

I reached for Shay's hand to steady myself as we began walking around the crowded floor in search of the girls.

"Hey you guys, we finally found you all" Shay exclaimed after seeing them.

"Let's all go do some shots" I said.

"Yeahh! Let's do it!" Lucy yelled with excitement.

The girls laughed and soon five of us sat down at the bar, lifting our first round of shots.

"Alright everyone on the count of three!" Troian shouted.

"1… 2…. 3!"

And with that, the five of us downed our drinks quickly. I coughed a little and set down the tiny glass on the counter. I looked over at the girls, who were already ordering the next round.

I don't know what came over me, maybe it was the alcohol, but I suddenly wanted to kiss Shay right then and there. I leaned into Shay and softly kissed her cheek and then brushed my lips lightly on her ear as I pulled back to observe how she was taking it, showing that I wanted some attention. Shay obviously started based on the fact that she jumped back a little in her seat and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Ash, what are you doing?"

"Oh nothing I just wanted to give you a little kiss or two." I said winking at her.

Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink and she said, "Not here."

I laughed and turned back to the bar. I wanted to dance so I practically dragged Shay to the dance floor.

We started dancing to the music, quickly joining the rest of the drunken crowd's movement. I was stumbling around as I danced and I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Shay was laughing at me as wee, but being the adorable lady that she is, she moved closer and to me and held onto my arms to stabilize me a bit. I giggled and stopped dancing for a moment to lean in close to Shay so that our faces were only inches apart. Her eyes stared back into mine and then closed as she closed the space between us, her lips pressing quickly, but firmly against mine.

When we got back home, we immediately went to her room to get changed to pajamas. I walked- well, more stumbled- into her room and fell on the bed dramatically.

"Ughhhh Shay, I don't wanna get changed! Help meee! I complained, sticking my arms out to her like a child waiting to be helped.

She stood at the side of the bed, where my legs were hanging off, with her arms crossed. "Baby, I'm sure you can get out of that and into pajamas just fine without my help."

"Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaase?" I begged once more, pouting.

Shay sighed and said, "fine."

I smiled knowing that I could persuade her to do almost anything I wanted.

When she came back, she said, "flip over onto your stomach real quick."

I furrowed my brows but obeyed and repositioned myself on the bed. The wright on the bed shifted a bit and I felt Shay hovering over my back, each knee on either side of me, avoiding putting any of her weight on me. I felt her hands at the base of my neck, getting a grip on the zipper of the dress. She slowly unzipped the dress all the way down. Shay leaned in closer to my face and kissed my jawline, then my neck. My head was spinning but I was fully aware of what she was doing. And it was working. I pushed her off of me so that I could reposition myself to where I was laying on my back. Shay smiled cheekily and reattached her lips to mine. We both got lost in our little world for a while before we had to pull away from each other's lips, completely out of breath.

"Better get to bed now, it's getting late." Shay said, yawning.

"Noo, I wanna stay up all night with you and kiss you some more." I was completely out of it, I was so tired I couldn't even understand half of what I was saying.

Shay sighed heavily and said, "Baby, no, we've got to go to bed now. We can have more fun some other time."

"No, I want you now." I protested, before leaning up to kiss her lips and swiftly pushing her off of me so that I was now on top of her.

My eyes were closed as I kissed her lips and forcefully dominated the kiss. I felt shay's arms trying to push me away, but I was too drunk amd horny to care.

Shay finally managed to push me off long enough for her to shout, "Ash stop! I said no! What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  
And that was like a slap in the face. I came to my senses and mentally kicked myself for how stupid and pushy I was being.

"Oh my god Shay I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me, I just…. I don't know… I'm so sorry Shan."

Shay shook her head as if she was disappointed. "Just get into some pajamas and go to bed."

I stared at her, trying to say something but no words came out of my mouth. I felt a lump in my throat as if I was about to cry but I held it back. I got up and changed and left to the guest room to sleep.

I woke up next morning with a headache. After a few minutes later, I realized I should go check on Shay. So I went to the kitchen where shay was making coffee for us.

"Morning" Shay said.

"Good morning."

"How do you feel now after all the drinking you did last night?" She asked me, a hint of humour in her voice.

"Ugh.. not good. I have a lingering headache and I feel awful." I said.

Shay smiled and went out of the kitchen to take aspirin for me.

"Here, take that. You'll feel better soon."

"Thanks."

I noticed all morning, Shay hadn't looked me directly in the eyes once. I sighed to myself quietly.

"We need to talk about last night, don't we?" I said softly.

"It's just…" I noticed her cheeks turning red as she stammered, "I knew where last night was headed.. we both know that. We probably would've had sex if I didn't make you stop…"

She was blushing like mad and was avoiding my gaze by looking down.

"I've been saving my virginity for the right time.. and I didn't want to take things any further while we were drunk. I want our first time to be really special, with no alcohol in our systems. Just pure minds and bodies, no influences or distractions."

I couldn't help but smile at her cuteness. But she had her reasons and I understood her choice and agreed, We really should wait a while till the right time comes around.. I want it to be real too.

 **A/N: Thank you guys for all your support. It really means a lot.** **xx**


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long. I'm trying to get back into writing but I don't have a lot of time to do so, unfortunately. Anyways, I hope you all at least somewhat like this short update. xx**

 **(Ashley's POV)**

Shay opened the front door and out popped our three overly-excited friends.

"Hi girls!" Lucy Squealed.

"Well hey hey hey, look who all are here!" Shay said smiling.

I broke out into a huge grin and let go of Shay's hand to hug them.

I hugged Lucy first as she was near me. I hugged next Troi and then Sasha. As I was starting to let go of Sash, she whispered something in my ear.

"I wanna talk to you alone later, okay babe?"

I raised my eyebrow and nodded. What could she possibly need to talk to me about alone? We were all such a tight-knit group that we hardly kept things from each other.

We made our way into the kitchen, getting wine glasses and a bottle of wine to get us started.

We went out to the garden in the back of the house and sat in the loungers under the sun.

It was the early days of spring, so it was usually still a bit chilly, but today was an exception. The sun was shining brightly, birds were chirping, and there was a slight breeze in the midst of the warm weather.

I took a seat on the edge of one of the loungers, soaking in the sun. Shay sat down next to me. Luce, Sasha and troian sat across from us.

"You two look like as if you've hardly been outside for weeks!" Lucy stated.

"Yeah, must be too busy inside with all the sex you two are having, am I right?" Troi teases as she sips on her wine.k

"Oh God!" I hid my beet-red face in hands.

The three of them were laughing hysterically.

"Guys.. c'mon it's not funny." Shay said in an annoyed tone.

"Actually it kinda is" Luce cackled.

"For your information, we haven't even done that yet." Shay said, shocking the other three.

"What?!" They shouted in unison.

I nodded my head lightly with my hands still covering my face in embarrassment, confirming what Shay had said.

"What the…. How could you guys not have done that yet? You guys are basically inside together all day." Sasha asked in disbelief.

"Well… uh..um.." Shay tried to form an explanation, but her voice failed her.

I finally looked up and said, "We're just waiting for the right time. We want it to be really special."

"Awwww!" Lucy cooed.

"I had no idea you were that mushy kind of couple, honestly." Troian teased.

"Okay guys, stop it now." Shay said giggling.

Sash and I excused ourselves from the others from the others to talk for a minute or two.

"Sit" Sasha patted the spot next to her on the bed.

I sat down next to her and crossed my legs, facing Sash.

"So what's up?" I asked.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about something really serious."

"Okay."

Sasha took a deep breath before starting.

"When I was 15, almost 16, I was severely depressed. I had various reasons why I was so down. Things about bullying, body issues, and I had a really bad hormone imbalance. I eventually hit rock bottom after it all become too much to handle."

My eyes were wide with shock. I knew Sasha had struggled with poor body image and bullying, but I never knew she was depressed. But what she said next shocked me more.

"I still remember the day. I wish I didn't remember it, but I can't seem to forget it. I remember coming home from school that day, crying because of the bullies. And on top of that, school was stressing me out so badly to the point where I couldn't just move on with life. That night, I laid in my room, just wishing I could die.. and so I-" Her voice caught in her throat and she squeezed her eyes shut, as if she was trying to lessen the pain.

"Babe.. you don't have to tell me." I said, taking her hand.

"No, I have to."

I looked at her for a moment, wondering if I should let her continue.

"Alright" I squeezed her hand gently.

"So as I was saying, I just wanted to die so badly, so you know what I did? I actually tried.. I tried overdosing."

My mouth dropped open.

I didn't know what to say to her. I was at a complete loss for words.

"Long story short. My mom found me in my room later that night and I was immedietly rushed to the hospital. It was horrible. My whole point is, look where I am today with my life compared to five years ago. I actually made it out of those dark times and found that life is worth fighting for. And I know you can get better too. It's not going to be very easy, but I believe in you."

"Thanks but.. Sash, I never tried killing myself… the cutting just got out of hand that one night and.. yeah.."

"I know babe. But I'm not stupid. Don't think I don't know how this goes. I've been through more than I'll ever admit to anyone., and I know it's the same with you. Just know that I'm always here for you. You can tell me absolutely anything, and I'll be here with you every step of the way."

We both had tears in our eyes.

"Thank you Sash" I hugged her tightly.

"Anytime babe,"

After our talk, we went back out to Shay, lucy and troian, who were watching tv. I immediately went to Shay's side. Shay took me in her arms and I leaned into her, resting my head against her shoulder. She placed a kiss on the top of my head, making me smile.

We all sat together in comfortable silence, occasionally commenting on the program we were watching.

At one point, a funny scene came on it and it had us all laughing our asses off.

And as I sat there, laughing along with my 4 best friends, I finally gained a sense of hope.

 _I can do this._

 _I can be happy again._


	20. Chapter 19

**(Shay's POV)**

It's nearly been 8 months since Ash and I started dating. The feeling is beautiful. We've been living together all these months and I'm quite used to have her by my side all the time. We post stuff about each other online and the fans go crazy seeing those. We don't hide anything anymore. As much as we loved the "Living together" kinda relationship, I wanted to take this to the next level. I'm almost sure Ashley would love the idea of us getting married but at the same time, just the thought of her saying "No" breaks my heart. But It's worth the try, right?

Firstly, I have to get the ring. I called Sammy and asked her whether she is up for helping me get the engagement ring. She was very excited and was really patient while I was losing my mind to find the perfect ring.

"Why are you so nervous? She loves you so much. She wouldn't turn you down, silly!" Sammy said.

"I know, Sam. I don't know why I'm getting very anxious. I know she loves me more than anything but what if she is not ready to get married yet?"

"Well, you guys aren't gonna get married any time sooner. This is just like an engagement and I'm sure Ashley will understand. Now let's search for the ring, alright?"

"Yeah, we should." I said taking a deep breathe.

After hours, I came home. Ashley was working late night for pll and so it's just me and Angel tonight. No little Ashley sleeping peacefully in my arms. I reluctantly made my way to my bed, tiredly took off my shoes and sat on the mattress. I took the box out my pocket and took a good look at it..

The box was brownish colour seeming kind of burgundy looking from a different angle. I took the velvety case in my hands and delicately opened it. The diamond ring was shining brightly. I had a bit of trouble finding the perfect one and the stress and frustration had quickly vanished when my eyes landed on the round-cut ring that's now in front of me. That was the one, I could tell immediately, without second guessing. It had caused a stage of extreme happiness in me.

I reached out my phone to text Ashley

" _You're my love. Now and forever._

 _Good night Beautiful, I love you_."

After sending the text I dozed off immediately since I was so tired.

I woke up next day and Ashley was sleeping peacefully next to me. I kissed her Good morning and she smiled at me so sweetly that my heart just melted. _Gosh, how much I love this woman._

"Where are you going? Come on here, I wanna make out with you." Ashley said frowning her brows.

"Ugh, I would love to but gotta run babe. Have to get three work out sessions done and have to rush to the set by the evening." I lied.

"Ah okay then." I hate to see her disappointed so

"You know what? A little kiss won't affect anything" I said kissing her soft lips.

"I love you so much, Shan." She said smiling

"I love you so much more. Ashley."

"I hate doing this but I have to go babe. See you later in the evening"

"Haha, bye shan shan. I'm just gonna sleep all day."

"Where to, young lady?" The taxi driver asked, turning around the seat.

"The airport please" I replied.

"So, where are you going? New york, Rome, Paris?" The man asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Anaheim"

I stood in front of the door, I knocked the door few times. I was very nervous. I heard the hurried footsteps, a tiny gap opening as the person's face appeared peeking through the crack, eyes widened in surprise.

"SHAY! What a surprise! What are you doing here ? Is Ashley with you?" Ashley's mom asked, opening the door fully and asked me to come in.

"No, Mrs. Benson. It's just me. It's kind of urgent so I came here. I hope you don't mind." I literally spoke like my words coming out in a rush as if stumbling something.

Mrs. Benson shook her head, smiling warmly at her.

"That's alright. I was just making a cuppa, you want one?" She asked.

"No, thank you."

"So, what is it you wanted to tell me? You seem a bit nervous. Is everything alright?" She asked, worry laced in her voice as a frown appeared on her brow.

"Yeah, you could say that…" I sighed. "I need to ask you something. It's very important." I started, looking straight into her concerned eyes.

Mrs. Benson nodded briefly, as if urging me to go on.

"Well, you know me and ash have been dating for a while now and I feel like it's time to take the next step in the relationship." I said hoping she'd understand what I was hinting at.

She looked at me, her eyes narrowed as she rubbed her chin. I couldn't help but chuckle at the woman's obliviousness. My heart fluttered in my chest as it reminded me of Ash and the way she'd squint her eyes in concentration while reading a book or anything that makes her curious.

"I love her, more than anything and I need her with me. I want to spend the rest of my life with her—" I was cut off when Mrs benson jumped up from the couch, squealing madly as she clapped her hands in excitement. I jumped as well, the abrupt movement caught me off guard and causing my eyes to widen in surprise. I raised a hand to my heart, sighing in relief and let out a giggle.

"So I was wondering if you'd let me have your daughter's hand in marriage.." I asked.

Mrs. Benson grinned, a happy tear sliding down her face and she pulled me in a bone crushing hug.

"Of course I do." She laughed.

I grinned hugging back.

"When are you asking her?" She asked, the smile never fading her lips as se patiently waited for an answer.

"Um soon, I believe. Valentine's day is around the corner so I'm guessing that day will be perfect."

"That's awesome! Have you got the ring yet?" She asked, giddily, acting like a teenage girl.

"Yes, I have!" I took the box out of my pocket and showed it to her.

"It's so beautiful , Shay!" She squealed, excitedly.

I grinned, hoping that the woman's daughter would love it just as much, maybe even more.

"It's never as beautiful as Ashley" I mumbled.

"Awww, that's so cute! From all the people that could've asked me to marry my daughter, I'm glad it was you." She stated, and it brought a wide smile on my face.

"Thank you, it means a lot." I said. "I'm sorry, but I have to go." I added.

"Oh, so soon? That's alright Shay, you have a proposal to do after all."

I nodded, nerves already kicking in as I headed to the door, hugging her one last time before hailing a cab to the airport.

 **A/N: How would you guys like Shay to propose?**


	21. Chapter 20

**(Shay's POV)**

"Come on Shay, deep breaths" Lucy encouraged, smiling reassuringly as she patted my shoulder.

"You just have to ask her Shay, it doesn't really matter where or how, you love her, she loves you then what's there to worry? Just do it, I'm sure everything will go just as planned." Troian stated.

"I want to make it special for her. Something she will always remember" I sighed in frustration "I want to show her how much she means to me."

"You want to spend the rest of your life with her, what do you think that stands for? It doesn't matter how you do it. I've never seen anyone so in love as you guys. Just tell her how you feel and pop the question." Lucy grinned, proud of her answer.

"What if.."

"No 'what ifs' Shannon. It will be alright. Now go on, plan if you have to, but start today. There's nothing stopping you. And know that we are here for the rescue." Troian said as she gave me a firm smile.

It was the night before the Valentine's day and I couldn't find a better day to propose. In a moment of inspiration, I found a way to do it and though it was quite simple, I felt it was right.

Ashley was reading a book as she was tucked under the blanket. She laid the book down on her lap and smiled at me brightly. I positioned myself in front of her. She was smiling shyly as I rested my chin on her stomach.

"What are you doing?" Ash asked, giggling like a school girl as she ran down my brunette locks.

"Cuddling you, baby" I answered, nuzzling her stomach and wrapped my arms firmly around her torso.

Ash smiled at me, her hand caressing my shoulders.

"So, it's Valentine's day tomorrow, what do you wanna do, babe?" I asked, pressing a lingering kiss in her abs.

Ash thought deeply, slightly tilting her to the side as she rubbed her chin. _God, how can she be so adorable._

"How about cooking our favorite dish and watching movies?" She asked.

"Sounds good, baby" I grinned, planning the proposal in my head.

Ash beamed at her, scooting her head closer to me as she kissed gently. I kissed back instantly, raising my body so it was leveled with Ash's. I delicately took her legs, carefully wrapped them around my waist. Ash sighed in bliss, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulled me closer for a kiss. Our kiss deepened and we broke apart when the air was lacking, breathing heavily, our warm breathes mixing together as our noses and foreheads touched. I kissed her lips several times, not getting enough, stopping to let ash catch her breathe. I would gladly give up air for another kiss.

 _Marry me, Ashley._

"You ready?" Troian asked, a questioning look in her eyes.

I nodded my head.

"Time for you to wake the princess up. I can't wait to see the ring on her finger!" Sasha whisper shouted, clapping her hands like a kid.

"Me either" I whispered to myself, smiling.

"Now, don't waste the time! Just go do it." Lucy said, as she pulled me in for a hug.

I hugged her back "Thank you guys so much for coming! It really means a lot."

"See you later, shay. Remember to breathe yeah?" Troi joked.

I waved them back and carefully picked the tray up which contained a plate full of pancakes, orange juice, a cup of ash's favourite tea, biscuits and a single red rose laying on the side. I walked up to the stairs and silently opened the door. Ash was laying sideways, facing me and cudding her pillow.

I placed the tray on the bedside table and sat beside her. I kissed her lips. In a semi-conscious state, ash hummed, sleepily kissing back as she wrapped her arms around my neck to pull her closer to her warm bosy.

"Happy Valentine's day, baby" I whispered, slightly dazed like every time ash's lips touched mine.

Ash smiled, drowsily, her eyes weakly fluttering open and closing instantly as her eyelids still felt heavy from sleep.

"Come on, sleeping beauty, wake up" I insisted.

Ash bit my lips, leaning in and placing a kiss on my lips before swiftly getting up and heading to the bathroom to quickly brush her teeth.

"Happy Valentine's baby, my love. I love you to the moon and back." Ash whispered, She kissed as her fingers ran through my hair.

"I love you too" I breathed as I kissed her back "More than anything else" I completed the sentence.

"You're perfect" Ash whispered.

"Look who's talking." I chuckled.

We had breakfast in bed, still locked in embrance as we fed each other, sharing a few kisses from time to time and giggling at nothing.

"Shall we go downstairs babe? We can watch a movie and then go out if you want"I offered, my pulse was going crazy anf I fought hard to keep breathing normally so ash wouldn't get suspicious.

Ash nodded enthusiastically.

"My present's downstairs" She said, clapping her hands as she smiled wildly.

"Mine too" I grinned, holding ash's hand as she lead me down the stairs.

Once we were there, Ash sat me on the couch. She handed me over a bag and asked me to open it. My heart was racing. I can't wait so I opened it right away. I couldn't be more happy of what I saw inside. She got me some pretty dresses, a charm bracelet and there was a portrait of us sharing an eskimo kiss. I was so happy that I wasted no time in embracing the giggly ash tightly and showered her with kisses.

"I take it you like it then." Ash joked.

"Like it? Babe, I freaking love it." I said as I tried to put on the bracelet but It wasn't very easy to hook it up.

"Here" Ash laughed as she helped me.

Upon seeing my questioning look, she said

"It's my heart. Yours to have forever" She whispered.

I hugged her tight and kissed her passionately as the words can never explain how I feel right now.

"Now, your turn shan shan" she said.

I took the big box from its hiding spot on the inside of the bookshelf and handed it to her.

Ash held the box, moving it up and down in search of a noise that would give her a clue of what might be inside. When no noise could be heard, she opened the lids, a smile quickly covering her lips as she saw a slightly smaller box inside of it. She loved surprises and she knew that, to get hers, she'd have to open several more lids. She enthusiastically opened two more, reaching a final, much smaller box at the end, her fingers twitching in excitement when she noticed it was the last one. My heart was beating so fast.

Ash's eyes landed on what was inside of the tiny box, tears swiftly overflowing her eyes as a hand flew to her mouth. Ashley's legs started to tremble as she read the piece of paper inside the box.

" _Will you be my happy ending?"_

 **(No one's POV)**

As ashley tried to regain her focus, she looked up, finding an extremely nervous looking Shay kneeling on one knee, a square brown box open to show the most beautiful ring she'd seen in her life. Her heart was jumping in her chest as her stomach fluttered.

"Ashley. My best friend. My love. I can't begin to explain how I feel about you and I don't think there's words good enough to describe how much I love you. You are the reason I wake every morning with a smile on my face, the reason I why I go to bed the same way every night, the reason why I'm a fool that's hopelessly in love. You're my princess baby, you're the one. You make me the happiest person on Earth and if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. _Ashley Victoria Benson… love of my life, will you marry me?_ " She said, her voice cracking in certain parts, the nerves consuming her. Her fear, however, vanished in seconds as Ash whispered the word she was dying to hear.

"YES" Ashley said, repeating the word several times as tears fell freely down her face, the biggest smile on her face.

Shay's face broke out in a grid that matched the size of the moon as she took the ring in her hands and delicately put it on Ash's ring finger. Ashley kneeled down in front of her, clinging to her neck as she kissed her passionately, smiling through the kiss as tears kept falling down her face, a tiny sob escaping her lips as she couldn't believe Shay had just proposed to her. Shay kissed back just as deeply, smiling as she wiped her now fiance's face.

Two hearts were beating to the same beat as the promise of forever had never been more certain.

 **A/N : It's not my best but I hope you enjoy it.** **xx**


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